...brokeness tend to create an upside...

On a much lighter note...I had a GRAND weekend...well, it's more like the best week ever:

I was able to get a lot of work done because I worked from home most of the week...and I got to hang out with someone special...who shall remain nameless at this time...

Friday...well, Friday was a lil stressfull because I had to drive to Baltimore.during rush *afternoon*.to stand in line for an extra hour.but it was all worth it just to see ESTELLE, GYM CLASS HEROES, and THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW!!! They gave the best performances! Estelle can really sing!! Like forreal forreal! I still don't know what was good with the whole rapping thing...but her vocals are off the chain! And her personality is so great! If Ling and I were a trio, Estelle would be the 3rd...
Then Gym Class came out...I can't say they were better than the last time I saw them...but I had a much better view...Travie was crazy as always...and Sashi looked like he had jump off of a slave ship and swam all the way to America to play guitar for the show...I don't know who is stylist is...but he needs to fire them...
Then The Roots came out...kinda mad at their performance...They didn't have the whole crew...mainly because the stage wouldn't have fit all of them on it....I saw them last year so I wasn't trippin too much...we left before their performance was over cause I was tired...

Saturday I didn't do much of anything...I PAID RENT and cleaned up my house...I went to the leasing office to drop off the money orders and I told the lady I was off by 13 cents...that's $0.13.less than a dollar.less than a quarter. This bitch told me that I will receive a notice that we're short, and I can come in and write a check for the 13 cents...ARE YOU CRAZY?! are you crazy? 13 cents?? it gets that real over less than a quarter?! I got that shit in my pocket! I can't just give it to you?

People, if you see us on the street...pushing shopping carts and begging for food, know it's because we didn't pay 13 cents of rent and the Landlords don't take NO SHIT!

Then my Saturday got alot better because I got to spent it with someone *who shall remain nameless at this time*...we went to Fridays to have some drinks...and our asses...well, at least me...got tipsy like shit...then we went to the movies to see EAGLE EYE, which was a good ASS movie! Makes you reconsider every move you make....literally...this movie gets my sincere thumbs up!!

Today...I just laid around ALLLL day....watched TV, twisted my hair, cleaned my bathroom....nothing...Sunday is always the laze day...it's like mourning the oncoming work week...uhh...*gagging a lil bit*

*nights like this I wish...a hurricane would come and wash my work building away...*

**peace.love.music**

wake up wake up wake up...it's the 1st of the month...

sometimes....I wish Monopoly money was real and I could use it to pay bills...
OR
...I was one of those precious seeds of well-to-do parents who get all of their bills paid while they lay in a lap of luxury...

From the time we are children, adults should attach grownupship *yes, that's what I said, 'grownupship'* with a fucking SURGEON GENERAL's warning:

"CAUTION: being grown up causes extreme amounts of stress, with flair ups around the bill payment deadlines. Side effects of being grown up includes, but is not limited to: hair loss, reposessions, fucked up credit, depression, uninsured trips to the ER, brokeassness, bitchassness, alcoholism, heavy weed smoking, >>insert bad habit here<<, etc. Being grown up is not preventable and not curable, but can be treated with heavy amounts of begging, drug use, and alcohol..."

I mean...they do tell you...it ain't no joke being grown up and all...but damn. I'm sitting here, watching tv, writing, and sitting under the hair dryer *I'm an addict for tightly twisted locs...lol*, and stressing over where I'm gonna get the money to pay the rest of my bills this month...and the month just fucking began...

The first of the month is the biggest bitch I've ever met in my life...rent, credit cards, car note, utilities, phone, insurance...they can't ever, like, give you a month off for good payment behavior??? I make sure my shit is paid...and it always gets paid on time...but they starting to cut into my partying money. LOL

I don't know...mo' money mo' problems...

*cash rules everything around me...C.R.E.A.M. get the money*

*dolla dolla bill, yall*

**peace.love.music**

sooner or later it all comes crashing DOWN...

I'm sitting here watching VH1's 100 greatest hip hop records...and i'm buggin abolutely...
i.love.music.
i.love.hip hop.
Their rankings are out of wack *in my ever so humble opinion*, but nonetheless...I'm over here squealing everytime they play a record I haven't heard in at least a few months. squealing.

...but I digress...a bit...
it's funny, you know...whenever you get your life together and things are finally on track...everything and everyone that wanted to shit on your life before comes rushing back...

I don't have time for old bullshit...I'm on to bigger and better things now...sorry you missed your ticket to ride...

I just looked over and saw all the dust collecting on my guitar...it makes me a bit sad...I really need to get some lessons...cause I somewhat suck...lol

*none of this makes sense...but I don't care*

peace.love.music.

You know what they think when we do that...

Corporate America is slowly ruining my life...

I went on a business trip for 'talent aquisition' last week. fun times. back to good ol Hampton. ahem.NOT
Anywho, as we were setting up for the career fair it was brought to my attention that the 4 little colored kids are spending too much time together in the building.sitting together in the lunch room.walking the halls.going to meetings.etc.
The coworker said, and I quote,

"[*blank] said we need to stop sitting together at lunch"

-->umm...what? why?

"because...you know...because..."

-->umm..*laughs part angrily, part nervously*...I don't care...

And what's even more weird...THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME SOME COWORKER HAS MENTIONED IT TO ME! Umm...I don't fucking get it...

Now I know, many black folk in the same general area means we MUST BE plotting to kill us a cracker...but I coulda sworn we passed the "non-violent negro" test when we were hired for the job...I can't tell you how many times someone has come up to us at lunch and when we asked them to sit and eat with us and they would reply, and I quote,

"No, that's okay. I'm gonna sit over here...'WE' can' all sit together...you know that looks bad..."

And they would proceed to another table to either sit by themself OR sit with 1 other black person...does it not look just as bad when you don't with with anyone...or when you don't expand your horizons and sit with the white folk??? I don't know maybe it just me...but after futher observation, I have come to the conclusion that not only do white people all sit together at the lunch table, but I never see a white person come up and ask to sit with us either....hmmm....should I sit by myself because I don't want to be seen as 'only hanging out with my own kind'?? and why is it okay for whites to not have to hang out with us, but it's not the other way around???

I don't know...I don't get all these rules and stipulations placed on black folk *or people in general* in corporate america...What good are they???

*i never follow the rules anyway...*

**peace.love.music**

***out***

I'm not them and never will be...

Hey my lovely, lovely people...
I send you my undying apologies for not posting in a while...
Pwetty Pwetty Pwease FORGIVE ME!! I've been sooo busy trying to rebalance my life...

additions.subtractions.reformulation.
I'm happy again...forreal this time...

I'll have lots more to say later...gotta get back to getting up early and going to work...

peace.love.music

*out*

...i bet you heard this song wonderin who i'm talking bout....

sitting here.surrounded by music notes.i can't stop smiling.woke up this morning with a smile on my face and not a knot in my throat and it feels oh so nice.

I just watch Ne-Yo's video, She Got Her Own, EXCELLENT. Go Watch it! It's nice that male artists are starting to create songs that appreciate a woman who wants to be with a man because she wants to be with him, not because she needs a one way ticket from the ghetto to the baller life.

okay.i'm saying it now.it will never be mentioned again *i hope..* Solange's new album is that hot shit!! I gives that girl her props. Her singing abilities have improved. She grew up and her music reflects that. It's like 60s/70s soul with a modern twist...I love it...and those of you who know me well KNOW I would never say that shit!

...music surprises me everyday...

*back to downloading & twisting my hair*

*hugs & kisses*

...sugardaddy...mr. mister...here i am...

no intros.no explanation.just listen.enjoy.hit me up for the album.out

Ryan is lucky I LOVE this song...

Ryan Leslie *alternate version* **Addiction**

....cause I would be so mad that at this alternate version! Okay, so, I love the fact that there is a story line to this video....and that JASLENE from top model is the leading lady *WHOO!! Go girl!!*

BUT!! All that aside...why couldn't the leading lady be a BLACK WOMAN?!?! The other version has all the beautiful black women all up and thru...but this one...uhhh...I like it...but it needs a healthy dose of chocolate...I love Jaslene and all, but boo, hon, my girl...you ain't chocolate...

You know what? It's funny...was the first version not good enough?? Why??? And why an alternate version? Did they have to lighten it up so that it would be more marketable?????

....ponder your ass on that...as you bob your head to this jam....

*2 fingers with love straight to you*

***out***

can they deliver Mikey and Chucky to my house???? PLEASE?

The Cool Kids **Delivery Man**

WHOO!!! Talk about a pleasant surprise! I was flipping through channels the other day when what is it I see??? Mikey rapping....welll...okay...must be a special on MTV2....

UMMM NO!!! NEW VID! NEW VID! NEW VID! WTF?!?!?! I'm so happy! Black mags came out....what? like well over a year ago?!?! Yea, yea, they were in Mickey Factz video..and a few cameos and shit after that...but it wasn't their video! Now this one, my friends, is so theirs!!! WHOOOO!!!!!

Hey Mista Crockett

This shit is HILARIOUS!

I don't know if yall have ever watched Affion Crockett's Jay-Z imitation on Wild n' Out...but he is GOOD....and Travie thinks so too.

Ling showed me this video that was posted on Travie's blog and I must say...Travie has hilarious taste! ENJOY!

Pac Div gave me a TASTE of it...and I love it!

Pacific Division ~ **Taste**

The F.A.T. Boyz are at it again! Okay, so this song has been out for a minute, but the video just came out and I love it! Maybe I'm being biased...no, wait....I am...

Enjoy the video then skate on over to their Myspace page and get you another 'taste'!

i'm addicted to....Ryan Leslie

I came across this video last night and I was going to post it, but I got caught up...

Anyway-

Ryan Leslie featuring Cassie and Fabolous **Addiction**

Why he chose Cassie to sing the fucking hook is beyond me, but it's great I didn't have to see her try to dance in the video....uber great. Ryan ain't fine, but his music making skills have me wanting him *sorry I'm being a lil nasty*. This song's music alone is...mmm...*uber sexxxy*

Ling's comments: "I love the fact that most of the girls in the video are dark skinned and beautiful...it's refreshing"

I can't agree more...and it's so nice to not see a half naked girl shaking her ass or riding some ni**a's dick....but that's neither here nor there...

On a lighter note: ummm...when is Fabolous gonna get that tuuffus fixed? I couldn't really hear what he was saying because all I was looking at was the tuuf *kinda like the blabbering stain in the Tide To-Go commercial*

** just a thought... **

***hugs & kisses***

Bonjour mes amis!!

nothing uber exciting has been going on in life lately.
lots of green tea and water drinking.even more peeing.not enough sleep.but we all know that's normal.

The work week is half over for me...*yippie*
The best thing about working where I do, off Fridays. Whoever was the person who came up with this concept, GOD BLESS YOUR ENTIRE EXISTENCE!!

I haven't been feeling too good today. I've been feeling dizzy and my stomach has been aching like all hell. I tried to take nap, but it's only given me a wack case of heartburn...*shit*

A friend at work requested some music, so I'm posting it here for all to enjoy: **download, don't worry, it's free**

Jay-Z~~ The Grey Album [Mixed By Dangermouse]

**90210 is that new hotness...and that's big coming from me**

*off to take some Pepto*

***hugs & kisses***

...and then the skies broke open...

....and the heavenly MOTHER up above said, "It's over girl, pick yourself up and LIVE"

I listened.I'm listening.I woke up with a smile on my face this morning and, honestly, it's the first time I didn't wake up with a lump in the core of my stomach in a long LONG time...

...it's nice...

Ling and I watched ignorance on TV.she complains.I laugh.good times are had by all.
**WeIrD mOmEnT** I did this lady hair today. She asked where Ling was from.Don't you know they are both from New Orleans?!?!?
....it's a small world after all....

We went to see *MIRRORS* earlier....
::THIS JUST IN::
DO NOT GO SEE THAT FUCKING MOVIE!!! Ling called it from the first scene, "This looks like its going to be a stupid movie"...mind you, she picked the damn movie...but you never know until you actually do it.
BUT THE MOVIE REALLY DID SUCK...the ending??? Kiefer dies and ends up in the mirrors...I hope I ruined it enough that you will just download it from the internet instead of paying all your money to go see it...

***GIDDINESS GIDDINESS GIDDINESS***

OOOOWWWW!!! I GOTS ME A NEW RRIIIIIDE!!!

okay.so I'm 3 days late, but I gots it!!

'07 Honda Civic...all the works!**I'll post pics later**

she rides nice...but she's sans name as of yet....**any suggestions???**

~*~*~on a more solemn note, I had to leave my poor BIPSIE behind...~*~*~

she was my girl.we've gone through so much together.moving hundreds of times.roadtrips.accidents.inspections.she never did me wrong.she was my girl.my car.my BipBip...

**moment of silence for my baby**

**I gotta keep my fucking mouth shut...updates on wednesday**

***hugs & kisses***

dat new new Cudi

*squeal*

I was just on Cudi's blog...and he posted new vids!!! I like it.I love it.I want somemore of it!!! I posted my favs here, but all can be seen either on YouTube or Cudi's Blog

**DAT NEW NEW**

**SWAGGER LIKE US FREESTYLE**

...I love me some SuPeR dUpEr SCOTT...

**gotta go make sleepy time now**

...well maybe in an hour or so...

*hugs & kisses*

i am just a blinking, neon roadside attraction...

...or, at least, that's how I feel today...

anger.singeing the hair on my body.Incubus lyrics permeate my thoughts today....so maybe listening to old school Incubus [back when Brandon was "going through things"] wasn't the best choice but, shit, I needed to hear someone who knew exactly how I was feeling...and I wasn't in the mood to pick up my own guitar and learn another song just to sing and cry softly to myself...especially when Brandon already does it on my Touch.

Brandon screams.

I scream.

Brandon says "fuck you".

I say "fuck you".

**2 middle fingers attached**

Incubus made me feel a hell of alot better today. As the rain fell and flooded my balcony, I started to think about everything that had happened to this point. I felt as if I was >>insert blog title here<<. I felt like I have started to change so much, like in the past month or 2 expecially. But I've changed in order to grow...in order to receive more out of life...in order to see change in others...be happier....HA! ...what a fucking waste...

I AM SO FUCKING SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF GIVING OF MYSELF AND CHANGING TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON JUST TO BE TORN DOWN LATER

*~*and LO, he did shat on my whole life last night...and for that somone will weep...*~*

confusion.tearing me apart.sang Incubus **I Miss You** all the way to the spot.anticipation.been a while.

wait a min...

what the FUCK???

is he???

he IS???

no this fucking nigga didn't....

***PLAYED stamped all over my face**

::but then::

sweet.smiley.good to see you.are you doing okay.

let me...

oh really...

well why don't you...

okay baby...

Incubus **Just a Phase** lyrics are scanning across my brain's jumbotron now...."I am bottled, fizzy water and you are shaking me up..." over and over and over. Cause I always think everything is okay..but then you do [or don't do] something and it "shakes me up". I don't like confusion...and I DON'T LIKE LIARS!!! ...that is if you are lying...and today...baby...boo...nigga...I think you are....

>>also confused on some other shit that can't be confirmed til the middle of next week....

Incubus allowed me to face my feelings head on....

Ling Ling *and a lil ~laugh, laugh, funny, funny~ from the idiot box* helped to bring me back from the edge...I love her forever and when all fades away in this world *or when the world ends in 2012*, she will still be standing there with me *mainly because we decided to pop some X and ride out the end of the world, but also because she's my bestest* and we will be making each other laugh so we won't have to feel the hurt anymore...

**I am one big walking chemical reaction**

....and not one of the good ones...

...someone needs to come and put out theses neon lights...

rain, rain, go away...

Okay, so first of all, let me start by saying that TS Hanna is a fucking BITCH that is ruining my saturday!!! I woke up this morning and I had to check the clock to make sure I hadn't slept until the next night...no, it was just Hanna...casting dark and dank across my bedroom...shitty bitch...

Anyway [cause I'm trying to see the day as a glass half full], today will be a day of reflection, cleansing, and renewal....at least, that's what I'm hoping for.

If Zo! and Tigallo Love the 80s, I Do Too!

The Greatest Depiction of the 80s I've seen in a while

Today, lovely peeps, I present to you Zo! and Tigallo. This dynamic duo:

• Zo! :: a producer/musician from Silver Spring, MD

• and Tigallo :: our favorite rapper, Phonte, from Little Brother

Their album, *Zo! & Tigallo Love the 80s*, is a modern update to some 80s hits. As crazy as they look on the cover [and they do look funny as all hell], you would think that the album is going to be straight shit....tricky lil artist they are!! This album has played at least 5 times everyday on the Touch! They took songs I've listened to as a kid and almost made me forget what the original sounded like. And they weren't your old school soul and r&b songs [your rick james', your stevies, your chakas...], they were all the 2520 songs [with the exception of The Rude Boys]!!! Okay so I'ma run through all the tracks on the album and give the original videos by the original artists:

**1** AFRICA :: originally by ToTo

THIS IS MY FAVORITEST SONG ON THE ALBUM RIGHT NOW!! ToTo, an American rock band, originally released this song in 1982 on their *Toto IV* album.

**2** TAKE ON ME :: originally by A-ha

A-ha, a new wave synthrock band from Norway, originally released this song on their album *Hunting High and Low* in 1986. I love this video cause it's a cool mix of drawing and real life.

**3** STEPPIN' OUT 2008 :: originally by Joe Jackson

Joe Jackson [not "no, daddy, no" Joe], and English pop artist, released this song on his *Night and Day* album back in 1982. I always heard this song and I recognized it immediately when I heard it on the album, but when I looked up who the song artist was, I was caught a bit off guard. I actually thought it was "no, daddy, no" Joe! I was about to be like, "Lemme find out Joe was an artist in his spare time!"

**4** SOMETHING ABOUT YOU :: Level 42

Level 42, English new wave band, originally released this song on their 1985 album, *World Machine*. The guy who sings the hook is a bit scary, especially when he pops out in that loud ass suit!

**5** I'M ONLY HUMAN :: originally by Human League

Human League, English synthpop band, released this on their *Crash* album back in 1986. The words to this song are exactly how I feel around 2pm everyday...lol

POP QUIZ: Guess which one is the man???

**6** WRITTEN ALL OVER YOUR FACE :: originally by The Rude Boys

Okay, so this single dropped in 1990....but so what! Close enough to the 80s. The Rude Boys are a Cleveland R&B band that was discovered by Gerald Levert, who happens to make an appearance in the video. They are the only black group to be covered on this album. If you're Black, and you don't know this song, YOU'RE an official loser!! I'll let yall slide on all the other songs, but this one get's no excuse!!

AND UMM.....Why is Gerald wearing a TOPHAT??? ...T-Pain before his time....

Who's Gonna Save My Soul Now???

Gnalrs Barkley: Who's Gonna Save My Soul

As if they could never ever tip the weird scale...they have done it again.

With one eyebrow raised and a Cheshire cat smile across my face, I present to you Gnarls Barkley's newest video. I know I'm probably late [I credit *my BFF* Ling Ling for making me watch this video], but as soon as I watched this video, I couldn't get enough.

The weirdest thing about this video is the massive lips that the heart has. Are Cee-Lo's lips that big??? LOL. But it is the most accurate depiction of a sour breakup I've ever seen in my life. Once the guy gave the girl his heart an explained why she has to keep it, I was like, "DAMN! That is so true..." And they managed to banter back and forth in a way that made you smile and giggle a lil, but you still felt like you could relate, especially if you've had your heart broken.

Enjoy....I'm going hunting for someone to save my soul...

Tom Fuckery At It's ABSOLUTE Best....

The ultimate What the Fuck in all of What the Fuck Land

....no words....

I clicked.I saw.I threw up in my mouth a lil.

DO YOU SEE THE FUCKING PUPPET WITH THE TOP HAT?!?!!?!? No, not T-Pain, another one. Look close...

...watch and gag...