i'm right HERE...

....and I ain't going nowhere...

I know I know...it's been awhile. I never realize just how many people read my blog, my bad. I really appreciate yall though::

**billy harris**

**colie**

**shu shu**

**etc**

**etc**

**etc**

yall know you yall are

Anywhoo...

so it's a new year...time to turn over a new leaf *I'm bout to be brand new in the 09! LOL* For me, it's time I go get what's mine. I'm being selfish from now on. Not selfish in the sense, 'fuck you, pay me', but like 'yo, I *heart* you, but I gotta take care of me first'

is it just me, or did the holidays empty my bank account...but there's nothing to show for it? This recession shit is really starting to get to me. But what really makes me sick is the fact that people act like cause Obama is being sworn into office in 2 weeks, all the money issue of the world will disappear. Like they mailing bailout checks to every American the day of Inauguration....ummm....I don't think so...I'ma be broke that day...the day after...the day after that...the month after that....etc. But if they do send a check, I sure won't turn nothing down by my collar...

**billy harris and ling are GAY**

*peace.love.music*

What the fuck....

...coffee at 7am was a bad idea...even if it was full of sugar and french vanilla flavoring...now i'm sitting here all jittery waiting for my code to finish running and fighting the urge to google...**but damn if it wasn't good going down**

I need to stop treating Thursdays like they are the last day of the week on weeks when they sure aren't. I mean, i managed to drag my ass out of bed early this morning **a SERIOUS feat for me** and if it weren't for traffic, I woulda been here before 8. But I had no urge to get dressed up **jeans and a sweater...and I thank ya** and I'm blasting my music and staring off into space thinking about the weekend...a day and a half away technically...damn reality bites...

Most of the people in this office will be starting their vacations next week...but you would never know it. I've heard people say they will be working from home and *gasp* even offering to come in and work in their off time! Have we not earned an f-ing vacation? Take a damn break! Relax! I'm sure the weapons of mass destruction will still be here in one piece when you come back....I'm sorry....but I just can't bring myself to work during vacation--even if they are paying me...I will be starting my vacation next Friday, and no, there is no way for you to find me. Send me an email and I'll check them when I return...

...i wonder what the chances are that the water in my office sink contains lead? I make tea with that water at least twice a day...and this building was made by GOD on the 6th day so Adam and Eve would have shelter *I swear...it's that old...* the water does smell funny when I turn on the sink, but doesn't taste out of the ordinary, but you never know. I'll probably go to the bathroom one day and my pee will be glowing green...

.....guess only time will tell...

I'll be loving you until...

Musiq Soulchild is like a boyfriend that disappoints and makes you want to walk away....but you can't stay mad for long and soon you're all in love again **yea, I related my relationship with Musiq's music to an actual relationship....sue me...**

For like 3 months I was NOT anticipating his new album *OnMyRadio*...I had that one eyebrow raised look when I saw his first single...like, 'oh HELL no...Musiq, what the fcuk??' I felt like he sold out on what had made him successful to begin with....I hated him for my assumption.

But after a while, the single did grow on me **it's something I can bump when I'm driving..i *heart* bass! ** then when the second single dropped I was anticipating the album again...it was a typical Musiq track THANK GOODNESS.

So I've been listening to this album for a few days now **bless Europeans and their early release dates** and I'm pleasantly surprised. It had a few WTF tracks...but for the most part, it's typical Musiq. It reminds me of *Soulstar*: a few that was like 'huh??' but if you give it a few spins, you hear his style in it.

I can't be mad long....I've been a fan since the afrocentric, big fro days. People are allowed to change..and the music will always reflect that. Shit, when I started listening to Musiq, I wouldn't touch HipHop with a 10 foot pole....now it is the genre of more than 70% of my music collection. I changed...my music reflects such....but one thing never changes...

I *heart* MUSIC SOULCHILD!

***peace.love.music***

Is it 6 o'clock yet?

Cause I'm ready to go home! I don't understand how people can sit at a desk in front of a computer screen for 9+ hours straight! And that's no exaggeration...the guy who sits across from my cube sits and looks at his computer screen for longer than I'm here everyday! I'm here 9 hours everyday...he's here at least 10...i think he gets up once a day to pee or something. He doesn't move for lunch...to get a snack...no meetings...noone stops by to visit...nothing...he just sits there...

Meanwhile, I'm back and forth all day! Talking with people, going to meetings, lab work, lunch, anything to keep from going stir crazy...and I still manage to EVERYDAY...

I wonder what people like that do all day? Ain't enough work in the world...

A day's worth of random ramblings: part deux

2:30pm...

I'm listening to Common's new album, UNIVERSAL MIND CONTROL, for the first time *Common never disappoints...this album has excellent production*

Track 2--Punch Drunk Love--going pretty good...great beat...nice music...Common flow...great...

PAUSE

...is that...wait...please no...

FUCK

autotune??? Kanye WHY?! I love Kanye singing raw and out of tune! He starts hanging out with them T-Wayne clowns and lost his GODDAMN MIND! i haven't listened to all of 808s & Heartbreak yet...but I do admit it is really good *I've dubbed it 'The Art of Autotune'*

But do I have to hear Kanye Autotune EVERY FUCKING THING HE APPEARS IN NOW?!

...it's becoming an epidemic and the downfall of alot of good music...

.....the autotune must die.....

A day's worth of random ramblings: part un

So...it's 11:30am and i'm sitting here listening to John Legend's new album, 'Evolver' **good listen BTW** and what a surprise...Brandy is featured on the album. You know, Brandy used to have the bomb ass career ** WHAT?! 'Almost Doesn't Count'??? 'Sittin Up In My Room'??? Fresh to def she was...** But lately, Brandy & her half assed career revival is just pitiful. All she's worth is a feature...on someone else's album. Maybe she just stick to that...

I don't think i could make it thru another Brandy album **except 'Never Say Never' or 'Brandy'** but hearing her featured on someone else's album is nice...

....assures me she's still alive...without the agony of watching her album crash and burn...

For a good time, Call ME...

....ummm....what the fuck do I look like? Why is it that every weekend I'm the one who get's the random ass texts/phone calls from folk I haven't heard from in weeks/months/years[??] asking me what's poppin on any given night in the city? Do I have 'Party Animal' tattooed across my fucking forehead??? And what makes you think that even if I was partying I would be partying with you? If I was planning on taking you along on a night out on the town with me, you would have BEEN received a phone call/text. I hate that shit...

....yet I digress....

I'm nice and fat **like that's a change...** and I've made it through this Thanksgiving unscathed...I actually had a good time seeing all of my crazy *and I do mean CrAzY* family. They were crazily HILARIOUS! I did receive something like the third degree about some things *a boo, lifestyle, lack of invites, etc* but I made it!

...time to mentally prepare for next year...

I've been telling everyone for weeks that I was preparing to get up early and go fight the crazy housewives on black Friday so that I could get me a TV. I was really prepared to do it yall! I'd been practicing my boxing moves...my karate and my ka-raz-ay...I was gonna beat a bitch DOWN for a cheap TV!

**sigh**Well I got my TV...courtesy of Walmart.com...I know I know...I was all prepared to get up...then I took a nap....BAD CHOICE. I woke up at 4 **the time I planned to get up**...thought about it...and was like, "Do I honestly need to get up and fight these crazy hoes for a TV I can find online?" So my version of Black Friday blowout shopping was getting up at 4 pm...sitting up in my bed...and ordering my TV....direct from the internet.

...I got my TV...it was marked down...I don't have to carry it up the steps...and I don't have cut, bruise, or footprint on me...now THAT'S how you shop Black Friday!!

***peace.love.music***

Sometimes you just need a lil pick-me-up...

...and I wonder to myself ....I say:

self? How long will it be before I get my pick-me-up? It seems like we've spent so much time looking after other people that we have completely lost focus of what's important...SELF

....I'm sitting here, staring at Almond M&Ms *that I don't even eat*, looking at the last date on my blog *few days shy of a total month*, and wondering where why I STILL have no new music on my Touch *AHHHHH*...

That was pretty much my rock bottom: NO NEW MUSIC....I've completely spun out of control....I've allowed myself to be completely caught up in useless obsessions that I didn't even notice.

I'm back.I took the pill.the pick-me-up.no.not the 5 hour energy.I'm feeling much.much.much.mucho better.

I'm bout to starting downloading....um....I mean...looking for and purchasing music...it always makes me feel better to uncover something new.

I'm back online...so check for me muthafuckaaaaaaaassssss!!!!

*peace.love.music*

...i'm still going to hang on to the M&Ms..at least, for a few more days...

A Michael Jackson Impression has never looked better...

Q-Tip **Move**

...well maybe I'm being biased...but I don't care...FUCK YOU...

If I was, like, 10 years older I'd be laid up somewhere with Q-Tip bearing all his big headed babies...hell, I'd do that shit now...

*Q-Tip is my husband...he just doesn't know it yet*

*peace.love.music*

....i decided....

...that I'm gonna be a random ass person today....


I spent almost 3 full days in the bed.literally.


television [save for the news.all the news] sucks monkey balls...but I can't stop watching.


I've been slacking on my musical pimpin.downloading like crazy.but nothing makes the touch.not on purpose...I've been in super lazy mode.


if they made me into a super hero, I'd be LaZy WoMaN.able to leap tall buildings...when ever she gets to it.faster than a tortoise...running backwards.


aaah well.the laziness will end.tomorrow...


I don't understand why all of a sudden McCain has decided to stop bashing Obama's character.does he think that may help him win at the last minute.boo, you have already fucked your campaign up.shall I list the reasons why?sure? okay:

• you waited til your 150th bday to decide to run for president
• you neglected to push the issues you care about
• instead, you decided to talk about your lack of full range of motion in your arms due to being a POW
• you look like the man who tamed the dinosaurs, and then ate the ones still roaming after the big bang
• you picked the WORSE woman to run with
• she just learned the word 'maverick' and now she won't stop saying it
• why did you teach her that word
• you called Obama 'That One'
• I could go on...but my blog may not post because I would run out of memory

I had a bomb ass weekend.even though most of it was featured live from my IKEA bed.

somewhere in my present life I was a vegetarian.don't worry doubters.I haven't given in to the animal flesh.but I have lost track.I should get back to that...

working from home:worst decision an employer could give to an employee.WORST.

columbus day???what the fuck is columbus day???if I've ever had a day off for columbus day, it was too far back to even know who columbus was.and why the FUCK are parades being rolled off in his honor.guess white americans LOVE the birth of america.all I seem to remember are the small pox blankets.trail of tears.and slave ships.GOD BLESS THE USA...or something like that.

I was serious about going to Canada.any takers???

*...and it don't stop...*

*got the randomness to make your body rock*

**peace.love.music**

...brokeness tend to create an upside...

On a much lighter note...I had a GRAND weekend...well, it's more like the best week ever:

I was able to get a lot of work done because I worked from home most of the week...and I got to hang out with someone special...who shall remain nameless at this time...

Friday...well, Friday was a lil stressfull because I had to drive to Baltimore.during rush *afternoon*.to stand in line for an extra hour.but it was all worth it just to see ESTELLE, GYM CLASS HEROES, and THE LEGENDARY ROOTS CREW!!! They gave the best performances! Estelle can really sing!! Like forreal forreal! I still don't know what was good with the whole rapping thing...but her vocals are off the chain! And her personality is so great! If Ling and I were a trio, Estelle would be the 3rd...
Then Gym Class came out...I can't say they were better than the last time I saw them...but I had a much better view...Travie was crazy as always...and Sashi looked like he had jump off of a slave ship and swam all the way to America to play guitar for the show...I don't know who is stylist is...but he needs to fire them...
Then The Roots came out...kinda mad at their performance...They didn't have the whole crew...mainly because the stage wouldn't have fit all of them on it....I saw them last year so I wasn't trippin too much...we left before their performance was over cause I was tired...

Saturday I didn't do much of anything...I PAID RENT and cleaned up my house...I went to the leasing office to drop off the money orders and I told the lady I was off by 13 cents...that's $0.13.less than a dollar.less than a quarter. This bitch told me that I will receive a notice that we're short, and I can come in and write a check for the 13 cents...ARE YOU CRAZY?! are you crazy? 13 cents?? it gets that real over less than a quarter?! I got that shit in my pocket! I can't just give it to you?

People, if you see us on the street...pushing shopping carts and begging for food, know it's because we didn't pay 13 cents of rent and the Landlords don't take NO SHIT!

Then my Saturday got alot better because I got to spent it with someone *who shall remain nameless at this time*...we went to Fridays to have some drinks...and our asses...well, at least me...got tipsy like shit...then we went to the movies to see EAGLE EYE, which was a good ASS movie! Makes you reconsider every move you make....literally...this movie gets my sincere thumbs up!!

Today...I just laid around ALLLL day....watched TV, twisted my hair, cleaned my bathroom....nothing...Sunday is always the laze day...it's like mourning the oncoming work week...uhh...*gagging a lil bit*

*nights like this I wish...a hurricane would come and wash my work building away...*

**peace.love.music**

wake up wake up wake up...it's the 1st of the month...

sometimes....I wish Monopoly money was real and I could use it to pay bills...
OR
...I was one of those precious seeds of well-to-do parents who get all of their bills paid while they lay in a lap of luxury...

From the time we are children, adults should attach grownupship *yes, that's what I said, 'grownupship'* with a fucking SURGEON GENERAL's warning:

"CAUTION: being grown up causes extreme amounts of stress, with flair ups around the bill payment deadlines. Side effects of being grown up includes, but is not limited to: hair loss, reposessions, fucked up credit, depression, uninsured trips to the ER, brokeassness, bitchassness, alcoholism, heavy weed smoking, >>insert bad habit here<<, etc. Being grown up is not preventable and not curable, but can be treated with heavy amounts of begging, drug use, and alcohol..."

I mean...they do tell you...it ain't no joke being grown up and all...but damn. I'm sitting here, watching tv, writing, and sitting under the hair dryer *I'm an addict for tightly twisted locs...lol*, and stressing over where I'm gonna get the money to pay the rest of my bills this month...and the month just fucking began...

The first of the month is the biggest bitch I've ever met in my life...rent, credit cards, car note, utilities, phone, insurance...they can't ever, like, give you a month off for good payment behavior??? I make sure my shit is paid...and it always gets paid on time...but they starting to cut into my partying money. LOL

I don't know...mo' money mo' problems...

*cash rules everything around me...C.R.E.A.M. get the money*

*dolla dolla bill, yall*

**peace.love.music**

sooner or later it all comes crashing DOWN...

I'm sitting here watching VH1's 100 greatest hip hop records...and i'm buggin abolutely...
i.love.music.
i.love.hip hop.
Their rankings are out of wack *in my ever so humble opinion*, but nonetheless...I'm over here squealing everytime they play a record I haven't heard in at least a few months. squealing.

...but I digress...a bit...
it's funny, you know...whenever you get your life together and things are finally on track...everything and everyone that wanted to shit on your life before comes rushing back...

I don't have time for old bullshit...I'm on to bigger and better things now...sorry you missed your ticket to ride...

I just looked over and saw all the dust collecting on my guitar...it makes me a bit sad...I really need to get some lessons...cause I somewhat suck...lol

*none of this makes sense...but I don't care*

peace.love.music.

You know what they think when we do that...

Corporate America is slowly ruining my life...

I went on a business trip for 'talent aquisition' last week. fun times. back to good ol Hampton. ahem.NOT
Anywho, as we were setting up for the career fair it was brought to my attention that the 4 little colored kids are spending too much time together in the building.sitting together in the lunch room.walking the halls.going to meetings.etc.
The coworker said, and I quote,

"[*blank] said we need to stop sitting together at lunch"

-->umm...what? why?

"because...you know...because..."

-->umm..*laughs part angrily, part nervously*...I don't care...

And what's even more weird...THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME SOME COWORKER HAS MENTIONED IT TO ME! Umm...I don't fucking get it...

Now I know, many black folk in the same general area means we MUST BE plotting to kill us a cracker...but I coulda sworn we passed the "non-violent negro" test when we were hired for the job...I can't tell you how many times someone has come up to us at lunch and when we asked them to sit and eat with us and they would reply, and I quote,

"No, that's okay. I'm gonna sit over here...'WE' can' all sit together...you know that looks bad..."

And they would proceed to another table to either sit by themself OR sit with 1 other black person...does it not look just as bad when you don't with with anyone...or when you don't expand your horizons and sit with the white folk??? I don't know maybe it just me...but after futher observation, I have come to the conclusion that not only do white people all sit together at the lunch table, but I never see a white person come up and ask to sit with us either....hmmm....should I sit by myself because I don't want to be seen as 'only hanging out with my own kind'?? and why is it okay for whites to not have to hang out with us, but it's not the other way around???

I don't know...I don't get all these rules and stipulations placed on black folk *or people in general* in corporate america...What good are they???

*i never follow the rules anyway...*

**peace.love.music**

***out***

I'm not them and never will be...

Hey my lovely, lovely people...
I send you my undying apologies for not posting in a while...
Pwetty Pwetty Pwease FORGIVE ME!! I've been sooo busy trying to rebalance my life...

additions.subtractions.reformulation.
I'm happy again...forreal this time...

I'll have lots more to say later...gotta get back to getting up early and going to work...

peace.love.music

*out*

...i bet you heard this song wonderin who i'm talking bout....

sitting here.surrounded by music notes.i can't stop smiling.woke up this morning with a smile on my face and not a knot in my throat and it feels oh so nice.

I just watch Ne-Yo's video, She Got Her Own, EXCELLENT. Go Watch it! It's nice that male artists are starting to create songs that appreciate a woman who wants to be with a man because she wants to be with him, not because she needs a one way ticket from the ghetto to the baller life.

okay.i'm saying it now.it will never be mentioned again *i hope..* Solange's new album is that hot shit!! I gives that girl her props. Her singing abilities have improved. She grew up and her music reflects that. It's like 60s/70s soul with a modern twist...I love it...and those of you who know me well KNOW I would never say that shit!

...music surprises me everyday...

*back to downloading & twisting my hair*

*hugs & kisses*

...sugardaddy...mr. mister...here i am...

no intros.no explanation.just listen.enjoy.hit me up for the album.out

Ryan is lucky I LOVE this song...

Ryan Leslie *alternate version* **Addiction**

....cause I would be so mad that at this alternate version! Okay, so, I love the fact that there is a story line to this video....and that JASLENE from top model is the leading lady *WHOO!! Go girl!!*

BUT!! All that aside...why couldn't the leading lady be a BLACK WOMAN?!?! The other version has all the beautiful black women all up and thru...but this one...uhhh...I like it...but it needs a healthy dose of chocolate...I love Jaslene and all, but boo, hon, my girl...you ain't chocolate...

You know what? It's funny...was the first version not good enough?? Why??? And why an alternate version? Did they have to lighten it up so that it would be more marketable?????

....ponder your ass on that...as you bob your head to this jam....

*2 fingers with love straight to you*

***out***

can they deliver Mikey and Chucky to my house???? PLEASE?

The Cool Kids **Delivery Man**

WHOO!!! Talk about a pleasant surprise! I was flipping through channels the other day when what is it I see??? Mikey rapping....welll...okay...must be a special on MTV2....

UMMM NO!!! NEW VID! NEW VID! NEW VID! WTF?!?!?! I'm so happy! Black mags came out....what? like well over a year ago?!?! Yea, yea, they were in Mickey Factz video..and a few cameos and shit after that...but it wasn't their video! Now this one, my friends, is so theirs!!! WHOOOO!!!!!

Hey Mista Crockett

This shit is HILARIOUS!

I don't know if yall have ever watched Affion Crockett's Jay-Z imitation on Wild n' Out...but he is GOOD....and Travie thinks so too.

Ling showed me this video that was posted on Travie's blog and I must say...Travie has hilarious taste! ENJOY!