~> Happy birthday neezy!!

~> Couldn't have had a better weekend....I guess I can say I'm really over what all transpired...

~> Panky needs an oil change real bad

~> Cudi's album is still great

~> Apologies are worthless unless they are truly genuine...so stop apologizing...

~> The BF met the mom this weekend. I'm proud of her for not giving a complete 3rd degree...though E certainly did the job for her. I needed that though. It's good to hear that people care about me enough to make sure they ask all the things that I need to know but was too caught up to ask...

...is it *the real thing*?? idk, but so far so good.

~> Crazy *stalker* bitches seem to be good at what they do. I didn't know that at the age of 23, we can still manage to act like we just started high school. Shit, I really thought we had managed to move past that...we have degrees...we are grown up and have grown up problems and jobs and shit...but apparently we haven't. IDK...I have better things to worry about than to be caught up in some petty drama...

~> Females are irrational....myself included...

~> I seem to be a very daring person...

~> I need a bike...again...

~> ...and a new fucking computer...bad...

~> MAXWELL CONCERT FRIDAY!!!

~> 3am scarfing down cold cheeseburgers: some what *for the win*, mostly *fail*. He never eats the whole burger...this is something we know for a fact...but last night, neezy fucked that burger up!! straight out of the fridge...that was a kodak moment!!

~> Shu finally admitted to herself that she is not superwoman and stayed on the couch last night...thank goodness...we all know that manASSASS is like a billion light years away from Alexandria...and she had WAY too much to drink to make it home! I don't live close to the city for nothing!

~> OMG october starts next week...where has the year gone?

~> Let your haters be your motivators.... listen to *Motivation* by Jay-Z

~> *Surrogates* was a pretty good movie...but it was kinda like I-Robot with out the Will Smith shower scene...



...another week...more stress...


...I'm living for the weekend...


*peace*love*music*

For a good time, Call ME...

....ummm....what the fuck do I look like? Why is it that every weekend I'm the one who get's the random ass texts/phone calls from folk I haven't heard from in weeks/months/years[??] asking me what's poppin on any given night in the city? Do I have 'Party Animal' tattooed across my fucking forehead??? And what makes you think that even if I was partying I would be partying with you? If I was planning on taking you along on a night out on the town with me, you would have BEEN received a phone call/text. I hate that shit...

....yet I digress....

I'm nice and fat **like that's a change...** and I've made it through this Thanksgiving unscathed...I actually had a good time seeing all of my crazy *and I do mean CrAzY* family. They were crazily HILARIOUS! I did receive something like the third degree about some things *a boo, lifestyle, lack of invites, etc* but I made it!

...time to mentally prepare for next year...

I've been telling everyone for weeks that I was preparing to get up early and go fight the crazy housewives on black Friday so that I could get me a TV. I was really prepared to do it yall! I'd been practicing my boxing moves...my karate and my ka-raz-ay...I was gonna beat a bitch DOWN for a cheap TV!

**sigh**Well I got my TV...courtesy of Walmart.com...I know I know...I was all prepared to get up...then I took a nap....BAD CHOICE. I woke up at 4 **the time I planned to get up**...thought about it...and was like, "Do I honestly need to get up and fight these crazy hoes for a TV I can find online?" So my version of Black Friday blowout shopping was getting up at 4 pm...sitting up in my bed...and ordering my TV....direct from the internet.

...I got my TV...it was marked down...I don't have to carry it up the steps...and I don't have cut, bruise, or footprint on me...now THAT'S how you shop Black Friday!!

***peace.love.music***

Sometimes you just need a lil pick-me-up...

...and I wonder to myself ....I say:

self? How long will it be before I get my pick-me-up? It seems like we've spent so much time looking after other people that we have completely lost focus of what's important...SELF

....I'm sitting here, staring at Almond M&Ms *that I don't even eat*, looking at the last date on my blog *few days shy of a total month*, and wondering where why I STILL have no new music on my Touch *AHHHHH*...

That was pretty much my rock bottom: NO NEW MUSIC....I've completely spun out of control....I've allowed myself to be completely caught up in useless obsessions that I didn't even notice.

I'm back.I took the pill.the pick-me-up.no.not the 5 hour energy.I'm feeling much.much.much.mucho better.

I'm bout to starting downloading....um....I mean...looking for and purchasing music...it always makes me feel better to uncover something new.

I'm back online...so check for me muthafuckaaaaaaaassssss!!!!

*peace.love.music*

...i'm still going to hang on to the M&Ms..at least, for a few more days...

....i decided....

...that I'm gonna be a random ass person today....


I spent almost 3 full days in the bed.literally.


television [save for the news.all the news] sucks monkey balls...but I can't stop watching.


I've been slacking on my musical pimpin.downloading like crazy.but nothing makes the touch.not on purpose...I've been in super lazy mode.


if they made me into a super hero, I'd be LaZy WoMaN.able to leap tall buildings...when ever she gets to it.faster than a tortoise...running backwards.


aaah well.the laziness will end.tomorrow...


I don't understand why all of a sudden McCain has decided to stop bashing Obama's character.does he think that may help him win at the last minute.boo, you have already fucked your campaign up.shall I list the reasons why?sure? okay:

• you waited til your 150th bday to decide to run for president
• you neglected to push the issues you care about
• instead, you decided to talk about your lack of full range of motion in your arms due to being a POW
• you look like the man who tamed the dinosaurs, and then ate the ones still roaming after the big bang
• you picked the WORSE woman to run with
• she just learned the word 'maverick' and now she won't stop saying it
• why did you teach her that word
• you called Obama 'That One'
• I could go on...but my blog may not post because I would run out of memory

I had a bomb ass weekend.even though most of it was featured live from my IKEA bed.

somewhere in my present life I was a vegetarian.don't worry doubters.I haven't given in to the animal flesh.but I have lost track.I should get back to that...

working from home:worst decision an employer could give to an employee.WORST.

columbus day???what the fuck is columbus day???if I've ever had a day off for columbus day, it was too far back to even know who columbus was.and why the FUCK are parades being rolled off in his honor.guess white americans LOVE the birth of america.all I seem to remember are the small pox blankets.trail of tears.and slave ships.GOD BLESS THE USA...or something like that.

I was serious about going to Canada.any takers???

*...and it don't stop...*

*got the randomness to make your body rock*

**peace.love.music**

You know what they think when we do that...

Corporate America is slowly ruining my life...

I went on a business trip for 'talent aquisition' last week. fun times. back to good ol Hampton. ahem.NOT
Anywho, as we were setting up for the career fair it was brought to my attention that the 4 little colored kids are spending too much time together in the building.sitting together in the lunch room.walking the halls.going to meetings.etc.
The coworker said, and I quote,

"[*blank] said we need to stop sitting together at lunch"

-->umm...what? why?

"because...you know...because..."

-->umm..*laughs part angrily, part nervously*...I don't care...

And what's even more weird...THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME SOME COWORKER HAS MENTIONED IT TO ME! Umm...I don't fucking get it...

Now I know, many black folk in the same general area means we MUST BE plotting to kill us a cracker...but I coulda sworn we passed the "non-violent negro" test when we were hired for the job...I can't tell you how many times someone has come up to us at lunch and when we asked them to sit and eat with us and they would reply, and I quote,

"No, that's okay. I'm gonna sit over here...'WE' can' all sit together...you know that looks bad..."

And they would proceed to another table to either sit by themself OR sit with 1 other black person...does it not look just as bad when you don't with with anyone...or when you don't expand your horizons and sit with the white folk??? I don't know maybe it just me...but after futher observation, I have come to the conclusion that not only do white people all sit together at the lunch table, but I never see a white person come up and ask to sit with us either....hmmm....should I sit by myself because I don't want to be seen as 'only hanging out with my own kind'?? and why is it okay for whites to not have to hang out with us, but it's not the other way around???

I don't know...I don't get all these rules and stipulations placed on black folk *or people in general* in corporate america...What good are they???

*i never follow the rules anyway...*

**peace.love.music**

***out***

...i bet you heard this song wonderin who i'm talking bout....

sitting here.surrounded by music notes.i can't stop smiling.woke up this morning with a smile on my face and not a knot in my throat and it feels oh so nice.

I just watch Ne-Yo's video, She Got Her Own, EXCELLENT. Go Watch it! It's nice that male artists are starting to create songs that appreciate a woman who wants to be with a man because she wants to be with him, not because she needs a one way ticket from the ghetto to the baller life.

okay.i'm saying it now.it will never be mentioned again *i hope..* Solange's new album is that hot shit!! I gives that girl her props. Her singing abilities have improved. She grew up and her music reflects that. It's like 60s/70s soul with a modern twist...I love it...and those of you who know me well KNOW I would never say that shit!

...music surprises me everyday...

*back to downloading & twisting my hair*

*hugs & kisses*

Ryan is lucky I LOVE this song...

Ryan Leslie *alternate version* **Addiction**

....cause I would be so mad that at this alternate version! Okay, so, I love the fact that there is a story line to this video....and that JASLENE from top model is the leading lady *WHOO!! Go girl!!*

BUT!! All that aside...why couldn't the leading lady be a BLACK WOMAN?!?! The other version has all the beautiful black women all up and thru...but this one...uhhh...I like it...but it needs a healthy dose of chocolate...I love Jaslene and all, but boo, hon, my girl...you ain't chocolate...

You know what? It's funny...was the first version not good enough?? Why??? And why an alternate version? Did they have to lighten it up so that it would be more marketable?????

....ponder your ass on that...as you bob your head to this jam....

*2 fingers with love straight to you*

***out***

i am just a blinking, neon roadside attraction...

...or, at least, that's how I feel today...

anger.singeing the hair on my body.Incubus lyrics permeate my thoughts today....so maybe listening to old school Incubus [back when Brandon was "going through things"] wasn't the best choice but, shit, I needed to hear someone who knew exactly how I was feeling...and I wasn't in the mood to pick up my own guitar and learn another song just to sing and cry softly to myself...especially when Brandon already does it on my Touch.

Brandon screams.

I scream.

Brandon says "fuck you".

I say "fuck you".

**2 middle fingers attached**

Incubus made me feel a hell of alot better today. As the rain fell and flooded my balcony, I started to think about everything that had happened to this point. I felt as if I was >>insert blog title here<<. I felt like I have started to change so much, like in the past month or 2 expecially. But I've changed in order to grow...in order to receive more out of life...in order to see change in others...be happier....HA! ...what a fucking waste...

I AM SO FUCKING SICK AND FUCKING TIRED OF GIVING OF MYSELF AND CHANGING TO BECOME A BETTER PERSON JUST TO BE TORN DOWN LATER

*~*and LO, he did shat on my whole life last night...and for that somone will weep...*~*

confusion.tearing me apart.sang Incubus **I Miss You** all the way to the spot.anticipation.been a while.

wait a min...

what the FUCK???

is he???

he IS???

no this fucking nigga didn't....

***PLAYED stamped all over my face**

::but then::

sweet.smiley.good to see you.are you doing okay.

let me...

oh really...

well why don't you...

okay baby...

Incubus **Just a Phase** lyrics are scanning across my brain's jumbotron now...."I am bottled, fizzy water and you are shaking me up..." over and over and over. Cause I always think everything is okay..but then you do [or don't do] something and it "shakes me up". I don't like confusion...and I DON'T LIKE LIARS!!! ...that is if you are lying...and today...baby...boo...nigga...I think you are....

>>also confused on some other shit that can't be confirmed til the middle of next week....

Incubus allowed me to face my feelings head on....

Ling Ling *and a lil ~laugh, laugh, funny, funny~ from the idiot box* helped to bring me back from the edge...I love her forever and when all fades away in this world *or when the world ends in 2012*, she will still be standing there with me *mainly because we decided to pop some X and ride out the end of the world, but also because she's my bestest* and we will be making each other laugh so we won't have to feel the hurt anymore...

**I am one big walking chemical reaction**

....and not one of the good ones...

...someone needs to come and put out theses neon lights...